Because the current classification system is old and obsolete... Just like the NES! Geddit? Geddit? F#@k you.

A lot (okay... 2) people have asked me to write something about the game classification/censorship throwdown currently (or not so currently as it may be) happening in my home country of Australia. I've kind of avoided it because it's obvious. Really, everyone should know by now that censorship is bad, and if you don't, my blog's hardly going to be the place to convince you. There's no real arguement here, denying someone the ability to play something someone else has made is ridiculous. Anyway... The other day I remembered that I always wanted to do one of those hoity-toity retarded political cartoons and now with my magical newfound grasp of heavy-handed symbolism, I think I'm in the right place for it. It just means I'll have to think up something more interesting to type...


Plus... I've found the break button! Yay!

Baby did a baaad baaad thing.

Well... Today was a lot busier than I was expecting, and fraught with danger at every turn, so I'm only just getting around to posting properly here.

So this is another piece of concept art for that thing I did that time. Once again, I cant really give too much away about it, aside that a) it's a game and b) they are trains. Draw your conclusions from that. Even better: write how you think those two facts come together and what details I'm omitting. Bonus points if you force me into replying with "No comment."

In relation to this, I remembered another lesson I learned from this: Don't count your chickens until they hatch. I think I got a little too excited that I'd "made it" when in reality I hadn't made anything yet.

In a similar vein, I saw this list of advice everyone should know when they are 18. I can't remember where exactly, it was some right-wing newspapers website, so some of the advice was probably thinly veiled racism and bigotry. I did know some of them pieces of advice, but one that struck me, and that I'll now recreate with heavy paraphrasing, is: Don't mistake being active with being productive.

It kinda struck a chord with me, since that's what I've being doing. I keep off putting off projects because I don't have enough faith in my skills to complete them to a state I'd be happy with, so Instead I keep either starting new ones or just doing random things and then I don't really end up with that much to show.

I think I've got enough ideas that I can safely burn through some and maybe not focus too much on making them as perfect as I envision in my head. Even if I'm not happy with theme, I can always go back and remake them again as something else later down the track I guess. It's so common to see people revisit (and sometimes never leave :S) the same basic themes they started with in pretty much all of the creative arts so I don't think there's a massive amount of shame in doing that if I feel the need.

So the current plan's going to remain a secret for the moment, but mainly because I'm trying to sort out exactly what I want to focus on. Well that's not totally true, I'm going to properly finish off my site and tart up this blog first, but after that it's all a-mystery.

An open letter to Hollywood.

Dear Hollywood,

Please stop.

We've all had a laugh, now it's time to stop dicking around an actually make some good movies again. Furthermore, please stop pissing on video games.... You stopped pissing on comic books and look how that's turned out for you! Batman! Iron man! Money in the bank!

So when a game comes along that basically hands you a decent movie on a platter and then attempts to spoon feed it to you, don't take it back to the kitchen and microwave it. And melt cheese on top of it. And add some spices... It was good for you the way it was. It was a tasty nutritious meal! I'd stop with the food analogies but I'm a little hungry BECAUSE MAX PAYNE LEFT ME EMPTY AND UNFULFILLED.

Max Payne (the game) wanted to be a movie sooooo bad. It was like a love letter to movies of a bygone era, to a almost forgotten genre that's proven to actually be profitable and relevant in recent years *cough cough* Brick *COUGH COUGH* Sin City *CHOKE* Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang *AM I MAKING MY POINT YET MY THROAT HURTS* . Max Payne (the movie) could've been right up there with those I just mentioned. It could've been proof that games can be compelling and provide strong naratives. But most of all, it could've been an entertaining way to spend 2 hours.

Max Payne (the movie) was none of those things.

I could go on at length (At great length, with bullet points and graphs and diagrams) about what made it bad but thats been covered so many other places (terrible pacing, replacing the plot with a deus ex machina envelope, barely any action, NO NOIR VOICEOVERS - for those playing along at home; mark those off your bingo sheets) but I think It's best to just cut to the chase and say this: You don't deserve people's good ideas, Hollywood.

I mean it's like you wanna keep bringing down other forms of media so people don't realise you aren't necessarily the greatest form of modern art anymore...

This is why I never want to see a Metal Gear Solid movie.

Your's Truly,
Victim-of-videogame-movies
co-signed
No-I'm-not-being-too-melodramatic


Meanwhile. Elsewhere. I put up Virtual House on the site... It still needs some stuff (and some more up to date photos) but thats going to have to wait because I just wanna put something up. Furthermore, the house is dirty and probably wont get a decent clean til we have another inspection... SO IT'S GOING TO BE A WHILE.

This month I'm also tied for the most posts made in a month. Can I push on through and break the previous record? Only time will tell.

Finally, todays picture isn't by me, but if the shoe fits...

Arrrrrgh... I hate it. I really do...

So once again; behind the eightball, breaking my promises, incapable of knowing if this is the correct usage of ";"...

But its not all bad news! Sure, I've been super busy with work the last couple of weeks. Sure, I've had to endure the terror that is my parents coming to check up on me (and I do mean terror, trust me on that), but not everything is a total bust up.

With my one free day these last couple of weeks, I managed to clean up this engine I had sitting about my hard disk, wasting space. I've managed to iron out the immediately visible bugs and create something of a pre-pre-alpha version of the game I wanted to make together. Please note that not only is this incredibly early, but it's supposed to be this easy because I'm deliberately leading you to the answer. Every time you understand whats going on, It makes me feel just that little be more superior.

Anyway, check it out here.

This is really an exercise in eastern game design. It's fully a topic I intend to write about in depth (when I'm warmer and more in control of my fingers) but until then you'll just have to work out your own what the hell I'm babbling about. Until then... Rock out.

(Note: There is no picture or anything because I am hammered and I have nothing relevant to show. This is a test to see if I can convince myself that posts can consist merely of words without the need of images. Who knows, I may wake up tomorrow feeling guilty and have to google image search an appropriate image out of shame. Only time will tell.)