Friday, May 1, 2015

Poetry Corner

So, this will not be a standard kind of post I'll be doing again anytime soon, but I ended up staying up till something like 3:30 in the morning doing this and I wanted to get more mileage out of it than just it's intended use. Maybe it's some kind of new low for the blog, or maybe it's some terrifying new and interesting direction it's going in. Or maybe I'm just hanging around the self-styled bush poet from the Ukulele Association too much.

It's my Uncle's 60th birthday this weekend, and my darling Mother wanted something different and special to put in the card. Naturally, she tasked me with it. Specifically, she wanted some kind of poem that incorporated details about my Uncle. Particularly, she wanted reference to a statement he made when he was 55 about retiring and "throwing his hammer over his shoulder" (which has not happened yet). I worked in some other elements and now here we are.

Around this time, five years ago
Robert began to conspire
"Fifty-five is a ripe old age
I think it's time to retire!
I'll down my saw, my wrench, my drill
My screwdriver and my plier
Stop working hard and spend my time
On the one thing I desire"

For Robert had the soul of a fisherman
And in this, I am no liar
He'd bought himself the biggest boat
That was possible to acquire
Fifty feet and a kitchen complete
With a fridge and a deep-fryer 
Then he planned the greatest fishing trip
Across the ocean, blue as sapphire

"There's just one thing I need to do
Before this can transpire:
I’ll toss my hammer over my shoulder
As I had promised prior"
So Robert heaved a mighty swing
But the throw was a misfire
It sailed wildly through the air
Until it clipped a wire

The wire loosed, it jumped, sparks flew
Robert began to perspire
He stared in total disbelief
His boat had just caught fire!
The flames rose fast, the boat burnt down
What remained was a charred pyre
To Robert's dreams of fishing days
And retirement plans entire

Robert sat down and cracked open a beer
The situation was dire
"Another boat..." He quietly told himself
"Hard work, it will require"
Now five years on and he's working still
"How much longer?" we inquire
"At least another five," he says
"If not that, 'til I expire!"

Once again, this isn't going to be a regular thing. I hope I haven't drawn any ire.

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