Wednesday, September 2, 2009

More than meets the eye.

I have a shaming admission to make: I now know more about trains than I cared to believe existed in the first place. I guess it all comes with the job, but its still embarrasing when I see a train and know what it is. And accidentally shout out its name like it's some kind of train bingo. And am naked in public except for a strategically placed train timetable.

Luckily, that doesn't happen too often, but I've often thought : What if I was in creative charge of Trainz?

Naturally I'd be merging it up with some other franchise and definitely that franchise would be Transformers (or Street Fighter, as mentioned previously). In honour of that, allow me to present what would be our main character: Turnout.

Turnout would be a noble Autobot, and while being a fine soldier, his key role would be support. Since his vehicle mode would be a SD40 Diesel engine (the current unofficial mascot engine of Trainz), he would be most useful moving shipments of supplies to the front lines and taking wounded teammates back to base.

Maybe he could be in a group, maybe The Freighterbots, that contain other kind of freight vehicles like a semi truck, and a cargo plane. Maybe they could merge into a bigger robot. Maybe that robot could be called Transportotron. Maybe.

As a special bonus What-if-Wednesday: What if Turnout was a Bayformer?

This hastily sketched mess should answer that question. Would he be the same as his original self? Hell no! No time for character development, we've got 40 minutes of military footage to fit in! And some gay dogs! Better give him a racist stereotype like the rest of the minor characters... Lets go with Mexican. So now he's always napping, carries around a giant robot sized bottle of tequila around with him for no explicable reason, and when he transforms into a train he shouts "ARRIBA ARRIBA UNDERLAY!". And probably at one point he can wear a roof like a sombrero or something.

Oh and lets give him rollerskates or something, because that's almost like being a train.

Fuck you Michael Bay.

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